|
Saturday, 24 January 2009 |
|
Hey guys. So, the other day, my friend had a rather embarrassing moment. Her owner comes home from a long day at work and rapes her. Don't worry, that's normal. She's a blow up doll.
But she's going down on this guy and she's giving it her all, really putting her effort into it, when he farts. Now, she doesn't really have a moment to stop and comment on this, so she keeps going, but she's thinking about it.
Then she starts to focus again and it moves to the back of her mind, and it's almost out of her mind completely when he does it again. He farts. This time she felt she had to comment, but she hesitated because the subject was a little awkward since she hadn't said something the first fart around. She started to gag out the words when her owner dropped her like a can of beans and went to the bathroom without a word.
So she calls me while he's incontinent. I mean, incrapacitated or something. So I say, “hey Sally,” 'cause that's her name, sally, and she says, “I'm not sally today, I'm Jane, the woman from the post office,” and I say, “The one married to the police officer?” and she says, “Yeah, that slut.”
So I ask what's wrong and she says that her owner farted twice in her face while she was going down on him and I say eww. She says, “so it's a bad thing?” and I say, “maybe not, maybe it's like a good thing because it means he's happy. Is farting a happy thing?” and she says happy things make him smile, and sometimes farts make him laugh so I say maybe she should fart back to show gratitude, and she said she didn't think the real Jane farted for anyone except her police officer husband's friend, another police officer, but her husband might not know and if farting is a happy thing, we might as well not ruin a happy thing by letting her husband know.
Jane said she'd fart anyway to see what would happen. So her owner comes out of the bathroom and grabs a beer and rapes her again, this time from behind. She tries to fart, but of course she doesn't have the same tubing as her owner does, so instead she decides to press really hard against his giant “Texas or GTFO” belt buckle, which finally makes her fart.
But she completely deflates which apparently isn't the same thing as farting because it wasn't a happy thing at all. In fact, Jane's owner got really mad, tried to duct tape her ass, got madder when she kept farting, and threw her out of the window.
Fortunately, the real Jane's husband was driving by and thought someone had just tried to commit suicide so he picked up Jane, and since she had nowhere to go, he agreed to bring her home so she could fart for him. Apparently his wife never farted. So that was my day. How was yours?
|
