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Mr. Pro-Woman-Is-Anti-Man |
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Tuesday, 10 February 2009 |
Dear Mr. Pro-Woman-Is-Anti-Man,
Well, it's just all about you, isn't it? You are MISTER Pro-Woman-Is-Anti-Man, after all. Well I'm mister anti-pros. If someone writes a prologue, I write an anti-logue. You want to sell me a product, I want to sell you an anti-duct. You say this country needs progress, I say this country needs anti-gress. Kobe Bryant is a pro-basketball player? Well I'm an anti-basketball player. And don't tell me the “pro” in “pro-basketball player” is short for “professional,” because “professional” comes from the root word “profess,” where the prefix “pro-” means the same thing as in “pro-woman.” And besides, I'm anti-fessional.
I am, however, pro-sarcasm. And no, it is not ironic that saying I'm pro-sarcasm is not a sarcastic statement. It's not ironic because the “pro-” prefix simply doesn't imply exclusivity. In fact, when people try to use it to distinguish themselves from others, it's downright ridiculous. For example, if someone says, “I'm pro-rights,” who are they against? What person is anti-rights? There may be disagreements about what rights people should have and who should have them, but there simply aren't any anti-rights movements out there. The only purpose of calling someone anti-rights is to piss them off.
So here's my advice to you. If you want to piss of people who call themselves pro-women, assume that they mean “before,” like in “prologue” or “profane.” Insist that by being pro-woman, they are proto-woman, and they would make a cute couple with bigfoot. Sure, it's stretching what they said to a ridiculous degree, but that's not exactly beyond you, now is it?
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