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Friday, 24 October 2008 |
I haven't taken a shower in, like, four days. Why? Well, two reasons. First, I'm not all that dirty. No really, I'm not.
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Saturday, 18 October 2008 |
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Ah, shit.
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Monday, 06 October 2008 |
It's been thirty-six years since George Carlin—God rest his soul—took the stage and talked about those seven words that he liked, but the FCC didn't. English has come a long way in thirty-six years. We have words and phrases these days that Carlin probably never imagined back then. So I'd like to take the time to talk about some other words you can't say. I don't mean on television or radio, the FCC doesn't regulate them, but around me, because I think they're fucking stupid.
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Friday, 03 October 2008 |
Jeff: (watching CNN about bailout plan) Okay, that's it. I'm gonna read this fucking bill. (goes downstairs) Oh my god, 451 pages? (Reads bill.) TOP-LOADING CLOTHES WASHER.
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Friday, 26 September 2008 |
I'm about to tell you a story, but the story isn't original. It comes from 2,000 year old biographies of Jesus. So I can't take credit for this one. It's Jesus'. It's the one about the guy who gives his investors some money.
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